Stelliscript

Written in the stars for all to read,
Is a story of truth...a story of lies:
Burning at my birth with a brilliant need,
To fade at my death through midnight skies.

Each change in the moon is a sign to be read,
An omen predicting the turning of my tide:
A means to decipher what may lie ahead,
Whether good or evil, all to be justified.

Discovering what is good requires a course,
West to east, with the stars my constant guide:
A forewarning of evil beginning in the north,
Will end in the south where all my fears collide.

My stars seem to burn with a fearsome fire,
Demanding truth before time can dim their light:
Had I only foreseen all that my heart desired,
My story might have been an easier one to write.

Dying embers will shower my words to earth,
Each spark bearing a promise unfulfilled:
Who can say what each thought might have been worth,
On that day when my voice is finally stilled?

Lora Frikken ~ 1-11-03

Rain

When I wept, you asked me why,
Although your asking was in vain;
For I had no words to justify
The wellspring of my fear and pain.

A shroud is cast across the sky,
Grim clouds now content to remain;
I wonder not what they imply,
For worry would surely bring the rain.

Even now, you ask me why I cry,
You plead with me to explain;
You hold me near until I sigh,
Your love becomes a healing refrain.

At last, the rain falls from on high,
Reflecting droplets on my windowpane;
Rainbow prisms intensify,
Diffusing my fears once again.

Lora J Frikken ~ 1-22-03

Fence Sitting...

Once I sat upon a fence
Without a cushion ‘neath me;
Knowing I should get me hence
Before the picket poked me!

Before I'd even had a chance
To leap into the air;
The picket poked me happenstance
Right in my derriere!

Lora Frikken ~ 11-28-2000

Space Songs For Space Cadets

Sing a song of space dust
Glowing in the night;
Looking like it might just
Sparkle on into daylight!

You go get the space broom
And try to sweep it up;
I'll go get the vacuum;
I hope we save enough!

Keep the glistening stardust
In a secret place;
For the day when you must
Return with it to space!

Lora Frikken ~ 2-15-01

A Picture of Eden

The water...darkly flowing,
yet not a dark thing to fear, but to welcome.
The delicate touch of something
unfamiliar to our being,
an awareness that is growing;
an awareness that will never leave
once it has been experienced.
It is a sensation that must be believed:
The belief becomes a desire, all-knowing,
forcing us to accept all we see,
whether we have come to trust it or not.

The memories...from the past,
of those who came together before us,
slowly begin to play upon our minds.
A subconscious realization of the others:
Those whose memories remain steadfast,
clinging to each new touch and sigh;
adding a new awareness to our joining.
We sense the soft warmth of their breath
upon our bodies, enfolding us in unsurpassed
wave after wave of trembling pulsebeats,
where two hearts now beat as one.

The land...fresh and alive,
with grasses and trees unknown to us;
their colors ever-changing.
Shimmering violet mists live on the water,
while turquoise and golden hues survive,
as the sky reflects their essence.
We are welcome in this place,
in this land of mystery and beauty.
It is then that we finally realize:
These are our own long-lost memories;
We have come home...we are home.

Lora Frikken ~ 1-2003

My Only Friend

In the end, there was only my friend.
One friend to be near me in the end.
A moment of trust, a moment of fear,
Existing for lust, cradled so near;
So close, no one knew but we two:
Was it me or was it you who withdrew?
To stop breathing, to claim a new life,
Brought about at the point of a knife.
Find me now and you find your reward,
Do not cease until I am restored.
Bring about this resurrection in time,
Do not let me exist merely in rhyme.
Touch me, I live on in your heart,
My Only Friend, I am your true counterpart.

Lora Frikken ~ 7-14-02

Imperceptible Existence

You forgot me along your way,
And I'm still lost,
I was a lonely and different child,
Now look at the cost:
I feel strangely alienated,
Sadly unconsecrated,
Profoundly devastated,
What was wrong with me?

I think you tried to understand me,
But gave up too soon.
I know you believe you did your best,
But somehow became immune:
To my need for attention,
My lack of direction,
My feelings of rejection,
What was wrong with me?

I proved you right, over and over again;
I didn't fit your lifestyle.
You never said the words, but I knew;
I was not worthwhile:
Always an embarassment,
Filled with resentment,
Unable to find contentment,
What was so wrong with me?

Whose rules made me so very different
In your estimation?
Who told you I needed less love,
Less validation?
Couldn't you realize,
Didn't you recognize,
There was no compromise,
What was so very wrong with me?

Today I'm stronger in many ways;
You left your mark.
Others have shown me I am not alone;
I will escape the dark:
Thoughts of suicide,
Being terrified,
Trying not to hide,
Though still wondering what might be wrong with me.

I try to imagaine what it might have felt like
To be loved...just because...
Accepted unconditionally and completely,
No matter my flaws.
Too late for absolution,
There is no retribution,
And only one solution:
To ask, ‘What was wrong with you?'

Lora Frikken ~ 2-18-03

Trapped Between June and Janis

To wake up in the morning, so routinely,
Dressing up, whether in or out of school;
Today a poodle skirt and blouse to wear,
Striving for perfection was the rule.

Mother preparing breakfast, as usual,
Father reading his paper each day;
Orange juice glasses always properly placed,
Such a perfect table on display.

Fork to the left, sitting on its napkin,
Discipline and order for my life;
Knife to the right, blade facing inward,
Spoon in its place next to the knife.

Would mother pause to eat with us today,
Take off her apron, sit down and rest?
No, she must continue onward with her duty;
June's ways were undoubtedly the best!

And when my world came tumbling down,
With no one knowing how to catch me;
The changes didn't seem to matter much,
Janis's music was there to set me free!

Breakfast became experimentation,
The morning paper now filled with doubt;
What I wore was freedom of expression,
No worries, everything became ‘far out!'

Was it the drugs, the sex, or the war,
That altered my basic philosophy?
Or could it have been June's apron strings,
Which had strangled away my creativity?

Inside my head I can still hear Janis,
Singing songs of free love and life;
But older lessons linger there, as well,
Such as my mother saying, "Be a good wife."

Some days I cook and sew, or merely exist,
I never know just who I ought to be;
Other days I run and play, or sing and dance;
I still walk between two worlds uneasily.

I owe something to June Cleaver and Janis Joplin,
For making me the way I am today:
A tattooed, gray-haired woman wearing tie-dye,
Still wondering what happened to my ‘yesterday.'

Lora Frikken ~ 9-21-02

Nuances

It's just that I meant...
I mean, I know I said...
You see, I know what I really meant to say...
But my words went
wrong; I was misled...
I think I went a little bit astray...
It was merely one small Nuance...

I didn't mean to insinuate...
I would never, ever imply...
You shouldn't have to read between
the lines; I shouldn't speculate...
I need to clarify...
I guess I said something I didn't mean...
Just one more little Nuance...

Not a great misunderstanding...
But enough to cause concern...
I don't wonder that you are a bit confused...
I didn't mean to be demanding...
I believe in live and learn...
What I started to say became infused
With, of course, another Nuance...

It is a very unusual rule...
Changing the meaning of a word...
And turning a subtle innuendo into a trap...
Now I feel just like a fool...
This is completely absurd...
For shades of thought to cause such a mishap...
You guessed it, it was a Nuance...

Once and for all I need to tell you...
Straight out, with no guessing games...
That I love you with all my heart and soul, my dear...
So, please do not misconstrue...
All my meanings will be the same...
For you, forever, I promise to be sincere...
No more Nuances here!

Lora Frikken ~ 10-10-02

My Diaphanous Gown

Silky folds flowing delicately about my feet,
Shimmering gently in the warm night air;
Longing to feel my lover's heartbeat,
Drawing me near, he unties my hair.

Familiar hands upon yielding shoulders,
Soft lips whispering of love this night;
Caresses slowly becoming bolder,
Passions urged onward beneath the moonlight.

Slender ribbons part to reveal a promise,
Ageless in its gift of bold temptation;
No moment will be any sweeter than this,
As transparent as my gown of pure persuasion.

Fragile sighs enfold us in their misty haze,
Our joining carries us closer to the fire;
Eager hands explore, setting our bodies ablaze,
Pulse beats whisper the rhythm of our desire.

Breathless in the grasp of erotic fantasy,
Flesh upon burning flesh, unrestrained;
No longer bound by convention or reality,
Pleasure rules this night with seductive pain.

Honey as rich and sweet as the morning dew,
Exquisitely tasted upon one another's lips;
Gentle moans echo within our rendezvous,
My silken gown cast down beneath trembling hips.

Arms and legs entwine in an intimate embrace,
Flesh glistening in the flickering candlelight;
Lips following fingertips, traced and retraced,
Seductive promises which arouse and excite.

No boundaries, no limits, nothing to fear,
Adrift in your warm embrace, I could drown;
As night fades away and morning draws near,
The golden sunrise lights my diaphanous gown.

Lora Frikken ~ 11-16-02

Don't Shoot The Piano Player!

Put down that gun and don't blame me,
Just because the music is sour!
I told them I didn't know what key
To play in, during the dinner hour!

All of the local drunks keep shouting
That I should play something fast!
But some of the others are pouting,
And right now I'm feeling harassed!

So for now, I think I'll make a change,
And just bring out my harmonica!
I'll play, "Home On The Range,"
Then switch to, "Turkey In The Straw!"

By then, we'll be having a hoedown,
With no one trying to shoot me like before!
And everyone will be dancing around,
Therefore, I won't be playing the piano anymore!

Lora Frikken ~ 2002

Rear-View Regrets

There's a knowing, an understanding, that comes with time;
A resignation to life that seems to settle in.
I sense there has been a loss, but I cannot seem to find
The missing essence of what that might have been.

While glancing in my rear-view mirror, I travel onward;
Images appearing closer than they really are.
If I reach out to try and touch them, to bring them closer;
I find I may as well be reaching for a star.

Have my sweetest dreams in life disappeared from view,
Passing me by in a haze of sad regret?
Is there a way to build a bridge back to where I started,
Or does time force me onward until I soon forget?

My saddest day was when I realized I had lost my wonder;
Somehow I had become accustomed to standing still.
Even now I long for the past with its myriad dreams and plans,
But now I lack true desire or any strength of will.

The passing of time has given me a gift of understanding;
An unwelcome revelation that the end is near.
I have resigned myself to gazing only upon the setting sun,
As I wait quietly for life's illusions to disappear.

This odyssey through a lifetime of starry-eyed daydreaming,
Has held me back from finding my own true identity.
Wandering alone and lonely by choice, and stubbornly silent;
Created a life wasted away on useless fantasy.

Then one day I found I had the ability to change my direction;
To journey off this path which has held me fast;
All this time I had a choice, but I kept on looking back,
Unknowingly becoming a prisoner of my past.

The mystery of where I belong, and who I am, is far from over;
I still walk with sadness and regret every now and then.
But lately I've been searching for someone to walk along with me;
Someone to show me how to look forward once again.

Lora Frikken ~ June & July 2002

People Who Need...

People are just people
Who judged me in my youth
Hated me for my truth
Despised me for the loose
And reckless life that I have lived

People who intend
To laugh or tear me down
Don't always know I drown
That I need to play the clown
To cover all this hurt I feel inside

People can't see
What it is I'm trying to say
Because I've lost my way
And I long for yesterday
Searching for a reason to go on

People are unkind
They talk in whispers and stare
Pretending they really care
They think I am unaware
So I vow never to trust anyone again

People didn't know
That I needed their kindness
That I wandered in blindness
Becoming ever more mindless
Not wanting to live this way anymore

People are just people
Who are the same right to the end
They never comprehend
That they could be a friend
Just by smiling and reaching out a hand

Lora Frikken ~ 11-16-02

Adios Mi Corazon

Adios to love, so-long to passion,
Farewell to those moments of bliss;
The time has come to say good-bye,
Most romance usually ends like this.

One seems to love the other less,
The other soon senses the change;
Someone decides it is best to go,
Two lives, once more, rearranged.

Coming face-to-face with myself,
While avoiding pain at all cost;
Finding I had never known love,
Nothing won, but how much was lost?

I wonder if something is missing,
Some innate emotion or drive;
Is the rhythmic beating of my heart
The only proof I have that I am alive?

This heart has lied to me so often,
Leaving me empty, leaving me alone;
Time to bid farewell to dreams of love,
Time to say, ‘Adios mi corazon.'

Lora Frikken ~ 2-15-03

I'll Be The Death Of Me Yet...

I'll be the death of me yet:
Oh, how I wish I could forget
The things I've done,
The things I've said,
That cause me such regret.

I'll feel the pain until I die:
And I'll forever wonder why
I ran from the truth,
I ran from the love,
Why did I choose to live a lie?

If I could start anew one day:
I know I'd end up the same way,
Making the mistakes,
Breaking all the rules,
Leaving only sadness and decay.

It must be true that I am cursed:
For I continue to do my worst,
Content to run,
Content to hide,
Always thinking of myself first.

Falling from grace should be a sign:
I need to claim what is mine,
To find my heart,
To find my soul,
Before they disappear for all time.

I don't know why I still survive:
It's as though I manage to contrive
To live on to suffer,
To live on to learn,
To be punished for being alive.

There was a need for me to be strong:
How could I have been so wrong?
I let my own self down,
I let my own dreams die,
It's true, I was the death of me, all along...

Lora Frikken ~ 2-8-03

The Changeling

At the beginning of my life I found many an analogy,
Formed by maintaining my insouciant personality;
Likening love to lust,
And truth to trust,
Transforming the end of my life into moot diversity.

Lora Frikken ~ 2002

The Knight's Tail...

One night darkness fell with a ghostly moan;
Startling a knight, on the road, astride his roan.
The roan threw the knight,
Who landed on his hindsight;
Teaching the knight not to ride alone into the unknown!

Lora Frikken ~ 2002

The Cage

Once in a while it happens
Now and then I can see
How a simple glance back
Reveals what ought to be

When time offers nothing
But the ability to age
With no place to run
Inside life's empty cage

Moments merge together
No daytime and no night
Without hope of escape
There is no wrong or right

At the borders of my vision
Traces of dreams exist
Waiting to die unfulfilled
With no reason to resist

Endless days grow dim
Reason fails to survive
Shadows overpower light
Waiting for the end to arrive

Trapped behind the walls
Of a prison inside my head
Powerless to change my fate
All memory of me is dead

Lora Frikken ~ 4-30-02

The Common Poet Speaks...

I'm just a common everyday poet,
and I DO know it!
I can't shatter worlds of thought
in a single line of verse,
although I'm not averse
to making the attempt, now and then.

I can only tell you,
in simple words, but true,
how good my breakfast tasted;
or how hot the sun was today,
or how the moon got in the way
of a memory I was searching for.

Shall I tell you that I heard
a dog barking at a bird;
or that the apple that I ate
was red and juicy? You see,
I can describe it very easily,
without wasting words or time for anyone!

I think simple little thoughts,
that need no deeper afterthought;
and it is really just as well,
for I would hate to have to carry
around a heavy dictionary,
to translate whatever it is I wish to say!

In the end I suppose it's very
helpful to be so ordinary,
as it saves a lot of my time, and of yours.
For example: no need to explain
what it means to be in pain;
I shout, "OW!" and you will surely understand!

So, I sit here in my plain dress,
saying how easy it is to express
each simple thought that comes my way.
I'm happy being a common poet,
and my feet will surely show it:
no Longfellows here, just everyday flat feet for me!

Lora Frikken ~ 9-30-02

Peanut Butter

I traded my heart for a jar of peanut butter
No love lost
No love found
In my white bread world
Slice by slice
I spread my life before me
Each stroke of the knife
As the crust is removed
Exposes all of my pain
Leaving me no choice
But to eat all my dreams
Until the jar is empty
And I no longer hunger
For the taste of peanut butter

Lora Frikken ~ 6-27-02