Rear-View Regrets

There's a knowing, an understanding, that comes with time;
A resignation to life that seems to settle in.
I sense there has been a loss, but I cannot seem to find
The missing essence of what that might have been.

While glancing in my rear-view mirror, I travel onward;
Images appearing closer than they really are.
If I reach out to try and touch them, to bring them closer;
I find I may as well be reaching for a star.

Have my sweetest dreams in life disappeared from view,
Passing me by in a haze of sad regret?
Is there a way to build a bridge back to where I started,
Or does time force me onward until I soon forget?

My saddest day was when I realized I had lost my wonder;
Somehow I had become accustomed to standing still.
Even now I long for the past with its myriad dreams and plans,
But now I lack true desire or any strength of will.

The passing of time has given me a gift of understanding;
An unwelcome revelation that the end is near.
I have resigned myself to gazing only upon the setting sun,
As I wait quietly for life's illusions to disappear.

This odyssey through a lifetime of starry-eyed daydreaming,
Has held me back from finding my own true identity.
Wandering alone and lonely by choice, and stubbornly silent;
Created a life wasted away on useless fantasy.

Then one day I found I had the ability to change my direction;
To journey off this path which has held me fast;
All this time I had a choice, but I kept on looking back,
Unknowingly becoming a prisoner of my past.

The mystery of where I belong, and who I am, is far from over;
I still walk with sadness and regret every now and then.
But lately I've been searching for someone to walk along with me;
Someone to show me how to look forward once again.

Lora Frikken ~ June & July 2002