I'll Be The Death Of Me Yet...

I'll be the death of me yet:
Oh, how I wish I could forget
The things I've done,
The things I've said,
That cause me such regret.

I'll feel the pain until I die:
And I'll forever wonder why
I ran from the truth,
I ran from the love,
Why did I choose to live a lie?

If I could start anew one day:
I know I'd end up the same way,
Making the mistakes,
Breaking all the rules,
Leaving only sadness and decay.

It must be true that I am cursed:
For I continue to do my worst,
Content to run,
Content to hide,
Always thinking of myself first.

Falling from grace should be a sign:
I need to claim what is mine,
To find my heart,
To find my soul,
Before they disappear for all time.

I don't know why I still survive:
It's as though I manage to contrive
To live on to suffer,
To live on to learn,
To be punished for being alive.

There was a need for me to be strong:
How could I have been so wrong?
I let my own self down,
I let my own dreams die,
It's true, I was the death of me, all along...

Lora Frikken ~ 2-8-03