I Am Who I Say I Am

If I didn't tell you,
How would you know it was me?
I choose whoever I am,
The me I want you to see.
When I knew I was shy and weak,
I always hid the truth;
I lied whenever I could;
I hardly remember my youth.
Wondering why I was different,
The me inside my head,
Knowing I might get lost,
Or might even end up dead.
If I forgot who I created,
I might just disappear;
I am what I say I am,
Changing from year to year.
Fighting for sanity’s hold,
The truth lingering near,
Sometimes I would forget
That I was even here!
Days became years,
Childhood, a blur of faces,
Paying an evil penance,
Residing in make-believe places.
Begging constant forgiveness,
For what was not my fault;
Too late awareness came,
A loser by default.
If I was never really here,
Then who will take the blame?
If I am what I say I am,
Losing me was my real shame.

Lora Frikken ~ 9-4-06